Thursday, June 21, 2012

I think the main reason why I am blogging today is that I feel like screaming.  The reason I feel like screaming is because I let the uncontrollable situation that my country is in overload my better judgement.  Some might say that because of my tendency towards consuming beverages that cause an eventual headache, I was on a path anyway, so all it took was a little something to lean me in that direction.  I take opposition to this narrow thought process.  Yes, I have a headache, and yes, I'll have to stay away from that brew for enough time to feel better, but the issues that caused me to fall over still exist.  So, I am not going to take it personally.  Sometimes people get to a point in their lives that they feel like getting drunk.  Getting a bit of a buzz is different than burying one's self in the junk.  I got a little drunk, now I am ready to not do it anymore...at least not today because it feels so bad!
Now, back to the question that I woke up with.  Do I have what it takes to be a writer?  I guess I won't exactly have the answer to that question unless I actually write something.  And further, if I wrote something, what would I want to write about?  The level of my personal frustration is sometimes overwhelming.  But, what am I so frustrated about?  My position in life?  It just appears like I ought to adjust to the exact situation I am in, and not keep thinking I ought to be in a different situation.  Sometimes, I just do not want to think about it.  Is this normal?  Further, what is normal for a 65 year old man (coming quickly up on 66)?  I really think that there is no "normal" in this marketplace.  None of the values that I thought I had seem to count anymore, so what can be expected of one like me who has to grope for the very foundations of his own history?
Sometimes I notice how much of what I have done over the years is now irrelevant.  

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